Imp: So boss, how'd you get this job?

Devil: Oh, I've got a deal with God. He made all these creatures, and lets them run around and do things. Then, the ones that don't work out, he gives to me.

Imp: Wow! You mean you get all those deer and turkeys and bear and whales and stuff?

Devil: No, he just lets those disappear. But there's this hairless ape that he's partial to. He wants to keep those, if they're of the better sort. And the others, I get.

Imp: So what do you do with them?

Devil: Oh, I burn them and torture them forever.

Imp: Why do you want them? Isn't that a lot of work?

Devil: Of course, dummy. That's my job. God wouldn't give them to me if I didn't.

Imp: Why does God want you to do that?

Devil: Well, they sinned too much. He wants them punished, so they won't do it again.

Imp: But, they're dead. There's no way they can do it again.

Devil: Well, it's so they won't do it in the first place.

Imp: So you don't want them to sin?

Devil: No, I do want them to sin. Otherwise, I don't get them.

Imp: So you have to work 24 hours a day, burning souls forever, just for God's leftovers?

Devil: Hey, it's a living.

Imp: But I've seen you doing things to get people to sin. Isn't that cheating?

Devil: No, that's just part of the game. It gets my quota up.

Imp: Well, if God doesn't want them to sin, why doesn't he just get rid of you?

Devil: I've wondered about that. After all they say God is omnipotent. That means he can do anything.

Imp: So what's keeping him?

Devil: Well, maybe you could say I'm his quality control department. I test the product, to see how it holds up.

Imp: But wouldn't it hold up better without you around?

Devil: Hey, don't knock it. It's how I get my kicks, O.K.?

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