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Q: Why are UU's such lousy singers?
A: Because they can't read the notes for reading ahead to see if they approve of the words.

(Oddly, non-UU's often don't get that one, and may even make an opposite interpretation to what was intended. Rather than saying that UU's have a rigid idea of what is true and right, the point is that each has his own separate idea of what is true and right, and might not approve of words being put in his mouth, even from his own church.)

Q: What do you get when you cross a UU with a Jehovah's witness?
A: Somebody who goes door to door telling people to believe whatever they want to.

Q: What's the difference between a Universalist and a Unitarian?
A: A Universalist believes that God would be too good to burn anybody in Hell forever, and a Unitarian believes he is too good for God to burn him in Hell forever.

Q: What sound does a centipede with a wooden leg make?
A: 99, thump. 99, thump. 99, thump. UU's are the thump.

Q: What do you get if you cross a UU with a Jehovah's Witness? Somebody who goes from door to door, telling people to believe whatever they want.


Crossing a UU with a Lutheran produces someone who nails 99 theses on a church door, each starting with the word "probably." Or a UU crossed with a Methodist, produces somebody who wants to drive on the left side of the road, but settles for the middle. Crossing a UU and a Muslim, produces somebody who attends college, but works in a 7-11 store.

Crossing a UU with Pat Roberson produces someone who rolls in the aisle, and praises whatever. A UU crossed with a Mormon, dresses in a suit and rides a bicycle, but keeps taking a different direction from his partner. Or a UU crossed with an Episcopalian, acts like a Catholic, but sympathizes with Cromwell.

Q: What do you get if you cross a UU with a Baptist? Someone who has doubts, but is adamant about it. A UU crossed with a Catholic results in someone who doesn't practice birth control, but feels guilty about it. A UU and a Christian Scientist produces someone who gets a medical degree, but wouldn't see a doctor himself. A UU and a Jew produces somebody who believes in only one God, maybe.






















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GeneDouglas 		Latest page update: made by GeneDouglas , Oct 28 2009, 8:29 AM EDT (about this update About This Update GeneDouglas Edited by GeneDouglas

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